FRIDAY - OCTOBER 23, 15 every other friday in charmaine's life was decided and gladly the exact same; charmaine left work fifteen minutes early, dropped in at eleanor's daycare to pick her up for the weekend, and engaged in animated conversation on the cab ride to her park slope apartment. the man who sat behind the tall desk in the lobby informed charmaine that alex, who had a key to her apartment, had just breezed through and taken the elevator. eleanor's excitement at having two fun aunts to play with was uncontrollable and by the time the pair of them spilled through the door, the giggle was at a hightened pitch and soon the contagious noise infected even the saddest of hearts. no one was immune to baby giggles, no one under any circumstances.

the three of them played with barbie dolls, an impressive and towering barbie mansion, and filled disney princess coloring books with their imaginations and the bright marks of crayola crayons. they sometimes got lost in an episode of sophia the first, other times it was just mundane background noise while they played peek-a-boo. only one bump in the road twisted some of the fun out of their night and that was eleanor flat out refusing to take a bath. oh yes, you are taking a bath, charmaine had assured her in an assertive voice that sounded more like a mother and less like a fun aunt. no! me not take bath. it was futile, though, as charmaine wasn't going to stand for the notion of not bathing.

soon the drama was over and the three of them were cuddled up in a heap of blankets, pillows, arms, and legs with dora the explorer playing faithfully (charmaine would say redundantly) on the flatscreen television mounted in the corner of the room. both adult women exchanged glances periodically as eleanor's breathing became more and more labored and eventually one of their glances grew into mirrored grins. getting out of bed was easy, both women were practiced at this art of untangling and sliding out. charmaine tucked eleanor in, rearranged the pillows so she was surrounded by plush comfort and then kissed her goodnight. moments like these, when eleanor was peacefully sleeping, charmaine felt a deep contentment.

alex's readiness made charmaine laugh outright. entering the room, she saw that the largest window had been opened half way, the curtains had been pulled back to let the smell and smoke out, and alex had already gotten into her hiding spot to retrieve the box. "this is why you're my best friend," charmaine declared, falling onto her perfectly made queen size bed and stretching out. freedom. a long week at work left her drained, but wasn't every week a long week? the politics in the office, the politics seemingly brewing between all of her contacts, the politics plastered all over her television had also contributed to her aching exhaustion.

she and alex smoked, passing the well loved glass pipe back and forth and falling into their pattern and routine.

charmaine listened; she listened to alex talk, she listened to the baby monitor, she listened to the ever bubbling street noise outside her window, she listened to the residents below her chatting on their balcony. the conversation slowed and her mind began to wander, not to the periodic check on eleanor or to the problems luring alex out of her happiness, but toward what was causing bursts of happiness in charmaine's life. charmaine settled in bed behind alex, playing big spoon to bring security to her friend, not just acceptance and comfort. eleanor's breathing was soothing, even through a baby monitor.

her co-workers would be shocked at her behavior tonight, stunned that she would crawl around on the floor and pretending to be a monster for eleanor's amusement, curling up in bed with a strictly platonic friend to give her emotional support. the poised, professional, commanding woman sluffed off and gave way to the real woman. and charmaine couldn't imagine a life without it.